Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Just What the Doctor Ordered

We're baaackkk.  We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving vacation by the sea and could not have asked for better weather!  We even ended up extending our stay by another day---definitely what the doctor ordered.  
There were countless walks along the shore, hundreds of seashells collected, colorful and brilliant sunsets, and one of our family's favorite activities, chewy, gooey smores made by our beach bonfire.  We all had a blast and hated to see it come to an end.

One day on one of my seashell collecting walks,  I noticed something I had never really thought of before.  I noticed that when the shells are lying on the damp, hardened sand where the water washes up over them repeatedly, they shine and shimmer in an unbelievably stunning way.  But, when I pick them up, carry them, put them in my pocket or my shell bucket, and take them out of that environment, they no longer shine and sparkle as they did before.  Not that they are no longer beautiful, they truly are, it's just that they lose a key component when the element of water is taken from their access.
 I couldn't help but think of how we, as people, shine and shimmer so beautifully, when we have access to all of the support and love and nurturing that we need.

When we are surrounded by people that love us and care for us, we can grow and change and evolve into healthy, productive, fulfilled individuals with the energy and motivation to reach our fullest potential.  We develop colorful, multifaceted personalities.  We have a life long curiosity and inquisitiveness that assists us in setting and reaching goals for our futures.  We believe that we have the right to be who we are, the right to exist and to count and to matter in this world.  Life is a big adventure to be experienced and lived, not something to begrudgingly be endured.

In contrast, when we have people in our lives that abuse us, emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically or spiritually, we are missing some very crucial and imperative components to becoming the people we want to be or need to be.  Our chances of not being happy and healthy people are drastically increased.  Many times the nature of our abuse keeps us from being us at all, because we are so caught up in being and doing what someone else wants us or needs us to be or do.  Our focus becomes living our lives for our abusers, not for ourselves, as it must be. 

If this pattern continues for a long time, we may lose sight of ourselves all together.  We will not develop into the people we are meant to be; and even worse, we will not know who we are all together.  Going back to the shell analogy, not only will the water be taken away, but so will the sunshine, the sand and the other key components that make the shells into the precious little treasures that they are.  The moral of the story is to surround yourself with people who will support you as the sand did the shells; allow people to rub against you emotionally and spiritually to soften and round out your rough edges; purposefully pick people who shine a light on your highlights and bring out your most interesting colors; and finally, allow others' goodness and humanity to wash over you in a soul quenching way, so that you can shine and shimmer and sparkle in all the glory you and I are meant to have.  And if by chance some shell abuser comes along--------RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

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