The World Has Changed

     I was listening to a radio station this afternoon, while cleaning up the dishes that I didn't get to yesterday evening, and heard the announcer talking about a couple of musicians that are dating and have just found their dream villa to live in; and then the female announcer finished by saying, "maybe there will be a baby nursery in there somewhere...first the baby, and then a marriage maybe?"  She made this statement with no negative connotation or inflection in her voice, and it gave me pause.
     I thought about how much things have changed since 1997, when I felt inadvertently coerced into my second abortion.  Huge determining factors in my second abortion decision were disappointing my parents, and making my mother angry, along with being judged by my peers and my students, as well as the church.  I was raised in a strict home and taught that getting pregnant outside marriage was an extreme "no-no."  It was about the worst thing a young woman could do to her family, and of course, there was the ever present, "What would the neighbors think, if they found out!"  In other words, my eyes and mind were on everyone else basically, EXCEPT me and God, when that relationship was the most important concern I should have had.
     So, what am I saying?  Am I saying that I think we should tell young woman to do whatever feels good, and if they get pregnant outside marriage it's fine and not a problem?  No, not at all.  What I propose we do is start at the very beginning, in raising and nurturing our girls to be strong, confident and smart young women, so that when they step out into the world, they are secure in themselves, in their bodies, and most importantly in their faith and relationships with God.  
     I suggest we teach our daughters, sisters, and nieces that they are valuable beyond measure and that the reason they should abstain from sex before marriage is that they will be happier, healthier and safer in every aspect of their lives, if they do.  That they don't have to use their bodies to give or receive love or feel desirable and worthy, that if they will stay by His side, Jesus will guide them each and every step of the way, showing them their worth and goodness, with zero negative side effects. 
     I hope we can educate our girls about the lie of the media, yes, I said the lie, that many of us moms buy into as well; the one about the TV girls/women, the ones that have to be a certain size, or have a certain look, or hair, or clothes or zip code, and on and on it goes.  Our message to those females that we care about, and males too for that matter, needs to be that we are all unique individuals created in God's own image; and we need to look no further than Him to find out who we "should" look like and be.
     I pray we teach them NOT TO EVER DO ANYTHING THAT IS AGAINST THEIR OWN MORAL CODE IN LIFE TO PLEASE ANYONE ELSE, NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT THOSE PEOPLE ARE IN THEIR LIVES.  To do this, which is what I did with my parents (especially my mother) in my second abortion decision, goes against God in a powerful and mighty way; and I firmly believe God takes this very seriously and that the relationship we put in front of our relationship with Him will suffer tremendously for it.
     The most important thing that we can do as parents, aunts and uncles, and sisters and brothers for our young people is to instill in them the need for a close and personal relationship with our creator.  I'm not talking about Church or Sunday School, although those definitely have their place, but most importantly I'm talking about a real, tangible, intimate friendship that is strengthened and nurtured through prayer and praise and worship on an very personal and private level.  You see, I'm convinced that what really matters in our lives is the time we invest seeking our Lord with all of our hearts, in quite times of contemplation and really LISTENING to what He has to say to us.  Times of shutting out the noises are so important!  Instead of praying and talking about what we want, we need to say, "here I am, Lord, listening for your voice..." and then just waiting to see what He says and believing in faith in what is being spoken to our hearts and minds.
     Lord, I pray that our girls will face the world with one thing, and one thing only on their minds, and that is pleasing you and seeking you; because I know one of the most important secrets a girl could ever know in life, for a fact.  I know that if we seek You, and listen to You, and follow You when we're 16, 19, 23, 27 and on and on, and never part from You, then when we get to be that 40 something year old woman in the mirror looking back at us, we can say, "I don't have any regrets about the life I've lived. I've sought God's will in every choice, and prayerfully did my very best, and I hope beyond words that I have pleased Him."  SEEK***LISTEN***FOLLOW: this is Your winning formula.
     Boy, I know my life would be different in several ways, if I had known this secret 20 some years ago.  I wish I could have gone into the world knowing I was worthy, not because of who I am, but because I had Jesus in my heart.  I wish I'd known that although I'd been abused and beaten down, that God didn't want that for me, that I didn't need to go out and find that, or recreate that again just to feel normal, but that I deserved better.  I wish I'd known what to ask God for in those days moving forward toward the exit signs down east.  And most of all I wish I'd never looked away from Him, because as I look back now, it's during those times that I sure did make a mess of things in my life.  And those times have had repercussions that have/will last a lifetime.