My Feelings Are Hurt

     I went out today again to post flyers and post cards around the community college campuses in my area, thinking women of all ages trek those halls in pursuit of some degree or certification in some field or another; and knowing that 43% of them, age 48 and under, statistically speaking, have had at least one abortion, surely some of them are hurting from their abortion choice, and need to find the healing and peace that God so desires for them.   Seemed an obvious place to target to share word of our weekend retreats to me, wouldn't you agree?

     In one building on one of the campuses, as I'm exiting the building, I happen to see a woman who works at this particular building on this particular campus, removing the flyer and the post card that I had just posted moments before that.  Now, keep in mind, I have been very respectful of the bulletin board rules, and if the bulletin boards were for specific clubs and so forth, I did not post my flyers there.  I posted on the boards that had random everyday things posted, such as flyers about books or races that are being run in the area, or cleaning companies looking for business, etc.  And I can't help it, my feelings are hurt that this particular woman felt it necessary to remove only my flyer and my post card.

     On a completely different campus, in a completely different county, I hung a flyer up on a board on my way into the campus, and on my way out to my car noticed it had been taken down, and all of the former available push pins had been removed from the board as well.  Can you imagine?  I hung it right in the middle of the board, in between a flyer advertising a children's consignment shop, a 5k race that's coming up soon, and a cleaning service's business card.  Now, why was my flyer about post-abortion healing the only flyer that had been removed?  Not only that, they took away the push pins, as to be sure that I would not be able to put up another flyer; which I did anyway because I happened to be prepared with a stapler and an extra 5,000 staples, should I need to use them!  A woman on a mission cannot afford to be unprepared!

     My feelings were hurt, still are, that's why I'm writing you.  I have to get this out of me.  The first thing that went through my mind, when I saw the woman at the first campus removing my information was, "what does it matter to you if that flyer hangs on that board or not?  What difference could it possibly make in your life?  Yet, what a huge, everlasting change it COULD mean in SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE!"  I thought, is she pro-choice, or does she hate women who have had abortions, and therefore feels they deserve no healing, or is she simply an agent of evil trying to get in the way of God's work?  I started to ask her why she was removing them, my flyer and my post card, and part of me wishes I had of.  But, I didn't, it was early in my day and I thought, "save your energy and keep doing what you know you are being lead to do, God has this!"  I didn't want her words in my head, her image removing my info was enough to carry out of that building with me.  But, I did want her to understand the importance of this work, and still do.  I want her to want the same thing that I want, healing for all women and men, no matter what they've done, or where they've been.  

     The second time it happened, I couldn't help but think, "what is wrong with people in this world?"  "Where are our hearts?  Where are our minds?  What happened to freedom of speech."  It has always been so easy for me to take what I need and leave what I don't need alone, why can't others do the same?  If you don't believe it, or need it, or want it, then leave it alone, but don't take it away from the rest of us, because WE MIGHT JUST NEED IT!!!  I want/ed to scream, "don't you want your women and men here on this campus to be healthy?  Don't you want the wounded to receive healing?  What is wrong with you?  Why would a flyer about post-abortion healing threaten someone?  I don't get it, I truly don't get it.

     I will have to pray about this, I will have to pray for the "seen woman" and the "un-seen remover," as well.  I will have to pray for understanding and insight.  I will pray for compassion.  But, I will NOT stop the work I know God is leading me to do.  I will not.  

Hebrews 12:1-3 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

     Thank you, Lord, You always know what I need to hear.  I will think of You and what You suffered, and I will not grow weary and lose heart!  Give me Your strength and sustain me in carrying on.  Help me not be put off by anything or anyone who seeks to hinder or entangle me or my purpose.  Strengthen me, Lord Jesus, so that I may run with perseverance the race that you have marked out for me in my life.  May Your name be glorified!  May You always be praised!!