I'm writing another post on depression during the holidays, because I continue to be reminded of the fact that holidays trigger some people to struggle more with troublesome thoughts and feelings. If you struggle with depression or another mental illness, you may have at some point wondered what is "normal" and what is not, in terms of dealing with it. How severe does it need to get before you need to get help with it, in other words. I hope to answer that question in this post.
Feeling sad or "blue," as some people call it, is a very normal emotion to feel, if you are experiencing some sort of problem or situation that has impacted you negatively in some way, or in every way you can think of, such as with the loss of someone very close to you. To determine if there's a diagnosable disorder, you need to be evaluated by a professional. They will look at how much the feelings and thoughts are effecting your quality of life, how severe your symptoms are and how long you have been experiencing the unpleasant symptoms that you believe may be depression. If you have been experiencing quite a bit of discomfort, meaning it is causing more than 3 new symptoms in your life, ie: sleep disruption, loss of appetite, sadness of mood or crying spells, and you have been feeling these feelings for more than a four week period, you very well may be looking at true Major Depressive Disorder. MDD is treatable with therapy and in severe cases with medication, and in chronic cases with brief hospitalization.
Now, how do you know if you absolutely HAVE to get help for yourself? The answer is in suicidal ideation, or thoughts of suicide or homicide. You may say, "well sometimes I think I'd like to go to sleep and never wake up," that's not what I'm talking about. That is a passive suicidal thought, more a plan or wish for escape from the reality you are in for the moment. You know you need help, when you begin to have real thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else. When you begin to make plans about how you would go about killing yourself or someone else, that's how you know you need immediate help. You need to call your therapist, if you're working with one, if not, go to the emergency room, or call 911 for an escort to the hospital. You need to be in a setting where you can be observed 24 hours a day, and can be given medication to stabilize your mood by a licensed and experienced psychiatrist.
If you are ever, ever having these thoughts, don't wait, don't worry about what others will say, don't worry about inconveniencing someone else, just get help in as fast a way as you possibly can. Many more people than you might think have had to get help for these same types of problems, it is nothing to be ashamed of. We are human beings and we can be damaged and hurt in such a way that it is difficult to remain in this world, to continue functioning, to continue living our lives; we're all vulnerable to these feelings and this scenario. If you find someone around you, while you are having these feelings, who is judging you, don't worry about it, they haven't been down your road, they haven't traveled in your shoes on your journey. Let them judge, who cares. Do they live with you? Do they share meals at your table with you? Then, who cares what they think. This time is about you, and if you're in the position of seriously thinking about suicide, get help for yourself, I for one don't want to lose you. You may think your life is not worth living right now, but right now is not forever. This time will pass, things won't always look as hopeless as they do right now. You may very well change your mind down the road, but suicide doesn't leave you that option. In fact, suicide leaves you no options. It's nowhere, it's nothing, it's not how it has to be.
Good luck to you, my Friend, I hope you'll take my advice. You're not alone.
Call me at 828.391. 8575, or visit me at oaksstudio.com.
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