May God Bless Her

     I have been blown away and bothered by the death of Whitney Houston this past week.  She was only a few years older than I am.  I was a big fan of hers in my younger days, and always saw her as a beautiful and talented woman.  She will be dearly missed by her family and fans.

     The other day a dear friend, that I co-facilitate with at Rachel's Vineyard Retreats, sent me the lyrics to one of Whitney Houston's songs, which speaks of a pregnancy loss from abortion.  The words beautifully render the thoughts and feelings a post abortive mother has, when she regrets her choice and is wracked with pain from it.  I don't know if Ms. Houston had an abortion or not, I just know that her lyrics to this song are so truthful and insightful as they hold up a mirror to the post abortive.  Certainly, her lifelong struggle with alcohol and drug addiction would be fitting a person who suffered from an enormous amount of emotional pain.  I share these lyrics here with you now, and send prayers of healing and hope to her family, friends and fans, and say for sure, that this song has touched many, many individuals who have suffered a child loss through abortion, and through her work, she will live on and on.
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Whitney Houston-In Memoriam
August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012

We will miss this beautiful, talented mother who inspired us all with her music. Dr. Theresa Burke mentions Whitney Houston in her presentation on post-abortive trauma and celebrities. Please see the lyrics below to a beautiful song about post-abortion pain by Whitney Houston:

How could I throw away a miracle?
How could I face another day?
It's all of my doing, I made a choice
And today, I pay
My heart is full of pain

How could you understand, the way I feel?
How could you relate to so much pain?
Seems as though nothing can comfort me
So today, I pray
That someone should listen, for...

Chorus:
Nothing should matter
Not when love grows inside you
The choice is yours
There's a miracle in store...
Nothing should matter
Not when love grows inside you
A voice of love is crying out
Don't throw love away
There's a miracle in store...

How could I let go of a miracle?
Nothing could ever take its place
Thought I was looking, out for myself
Now it seems the pain
Is all that I have gained
I wonder if I could be your miracle
I wonder if I could spare you pain
Seems as though nothing will comfort me
Lord, less today, I pray
That you should come listen

Chorus 

 

Don't ever throw away your miracle
Don't let it slip away
Nothing should matter

Chorus

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Keep it out of the Ditch

I love love love riding my bicycle.  Now that my little guy is getting older, he's four, we can go together and we're getting speedier.  The other day we were riding and he kept going over an area on the pavement that was uneven and he would catch it just so and his training wheels would get stuck there, so he would be peddling and his tire would be spinning instead of moving him forward.  He would fuss and whine and want me to push him out of the rut, rather than putting his feet on the ground and getting himself out of his predicament, which I did  a couple of times and then decided he needed to do it himself.

Finally, after many times rolling over that area and getting stuck, mind you the area he kept getting stuck in was about 2 feet wide and we had an area about the size of a football field to ride on; I said to him, "Honey, why don't you stop driving your bike into the ditch, and then you won't get stuck."  To which he said, "oh, okay," and he did.  Problem solved.  I thought, you know that could apply to so many things in our lives, couldn't it?  

How many times do we keep going over the same area, which gets us "stuck," when we have so much other ground we could cover?  How many times do we sit and spin our wheels and complain, when it's us that keeps getting us stuck in that same spot over and over again?  Why do we keep doing that?  I've heard the saying, and maybe you have too, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to have a different outcome."  I'm guilty of that, how about you?  Then, after I casually suggested to my son that he go a different way, he did and never got stuck again the whole time we were riding.  And I could tell by his response that he hadn't thought of that solution at all, until I mentioned it.  He is super intelligent, and I know it's not that he couldn't have, he can figure out how things work and makes connections that astonish me all the time; he simply oozes common sense.  I love that about him.  His little eyes were just shut to this notion before I said it, he just simply couldn't see it.  Again, I'm reminded of the implications that could have in real life.  Sometimes we can't see our own solutions, even when they are as simple and plain as the nose on our faces, unfortunately sometimes this leads to choices with severe consequences also.

Be Still

It is gray and wintry here today with a light, drizzly rain that falls continuously.  Things are quiet, people are staying inside, the world seems more still and hushed.  I recently gifted a precious friend with an art quilt that incorporated her favorite Bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God," Psalm 46:10.  It is one of the shortest verses in the Bible with a simple, yet powerful message.  Good things come in small packages, don't they?  

This verse is called to mind today, as the weather seems to echo the sentiment, "be still," and rouses my heart in remembering God is everywhere, in everything, all the time.  All around us, in us (if we've invited Him), with us, and for us.  What a treasure, a blessing, an indescribable gift and an unwavering comfort. 

To me, God is commanding us, not demanding of us, but more reminding us to practice just waiting and listening to hear Him.  To not feel worried, or anxious or concerned about matters in our every day lives, rather to trust in His sovereign understanding of all things relevant, and His gracious provision for our every need.  He doesn't mince words, it's not, "if you think it's a good idea, know that I am God," or "you might consider being still and knowing that I am God, because it might be good for you;"  the question of whether or not it is good for us is non-existent.  In His perfect way, in succinct terms, which drive straight to the point, He simply says to do it, "be still, and know," because He always knows what is good for us, all of us.

I can tell you that, when I take time in my daily life to do this, a couple of amazing and wonderful things start to happen.  One, I feel so much closer to my God, to Jesus, to my higher power; and two, I hear Him speak, maybe not in audible words like I do here on earth, but in whispers in my heart, my soul or my mind.  Sometimes I hear messages through something someone says to me, or through circumstances, or through research, or through reading the Word.  It doesn't matter how He speaks, the point is, "am I being still and listening and therefore knowing that He is God," and really listening; or am I focusing on the thousands of noises around me each day, the distractions, the chaos?  

There must be a daily, intentional choice to be still and listen, and to know.  Like so many other things in a healthy life, it starts with a choice to "be" in a different way, to engage with the world in using my time in a different and better way.  Engaging with others in alternate ways, making provisions to do things in another way, or plan to do something in a new way.  One thing is for sure, if I don't think about it, plan for it, and do something about it, IT WILL NOT GET DONE--this I know for sure, without a doubt.          

Utopia

Oh,  how our children love us!  I have been amazed throughout my counseling career in helping men and women and children, that no matter the abuse or abandonment, or whatever other kinds of pain our mothers have caused us, we still love them deeply.  Even though we live here in a fallen world with evil encouraging us to live self-centered lives with a vengeance for those who have hurt us, we still look on our hurtful mothers with love.  Even if on the surface we say, "I don't feel that way, I really do hate my mother," deep down inside where no one else can see, is a little girl who still loves her mother, and craves her mother's love and acceptance.  Boy, wouldn't it be easier to flip a switch and be released from that internal conflict?  Yet, there is no switch, thus we are not released that quickly.  Just think how much more our children, living all of this time in the utopia of heaven, must love us.  They've had no evil around them, no influence to hate or do harm.  They exist in a place of divine design, where loving and worshiping our heavenly Father is their only concern and desire.  Don't waste another day worrying and buying into the lie that your baby doesn't love you.  Accept right now, today, the love they have and feel for you.  There is no hatred or resentment or bitterness  or scores kept of wrongs done or retaliation or revenge or punishment waiting there for you, only love.  There is only love.  Think about it: how can our children think and feel things that do no even exist in the world in which they live?  Jesus said to Martha in the book of John, "I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die."  This is our promise, assuring us of what waits for all of us who believe in Him.  Every time the fearful thoughts creep in that your baby hates you and never forgave you, recognize that as the evil lie that it is and claim the love that waits for you.  One day, we will put our arms around our children for the first time; and we and they, in one accord with all of heaven, will rejoice. 

Holidays Have Passed

I hope the holidays were good for you and your families.  Now's the time for making lists, rearranging priorities and setting goals for the new year, right?  I like the sense of renewal I feel every time a new year rolls around.  I'm always excited to see a new number at the end of the date.  I enjoy the opportunity to welcome a fresh start, even if they're aren't really any big changes going on in my life.  

So, I reach out, with arms open wide and embrace 2012 with a great big, bear hug and a big ole' smooch on the kisser!  Here's to a new year, new opportunities, new me, and new you!  Best of wishes to all!

Continuing the Innocence Theme

I have a calendar that counts down the days left until Christmas that I hang every year on my wall. It has a Santa in the middle with a sack full of goodies, and 25 boxes around the perimeter, denoting the first 25 days of December.  Each day we move the little red painted heart with snowy glitter on top another day closer to Christmas.  My almost 20 year old son loved it when he was little, and now my youngest, who is turning four in another week, loves it too. 
My youngest son is full of mystique and wonder this year looking at the gifts under the tree, and keeps saying, "can I please open my present from under the tree?"  Which, I softly explain that he can't, "because it's not Christmas Day yet."  So, apparently he thought of a way to remedy this problem.   In the true innocence of a child way, he is sure that he can move time with the simple movement of the "snowy heart" on the calendar.  So, since he's ready for it to be Christmas day, he confidently strolled over to the calendar yesterday, climbed up on his backhoe-stencil-painted-wooden-booster step (a gift from me last year), cleverly moved the snowy heart to the number one slot,  and triumphantly announced,  "now it is Christmas day!"  Our whole house cracked up together as we embraced another glimpse of the innocence of a child. 

The Innocence of a Child

     One of the best parts of Christmas is seeing the world again through the eyes of a child, especially for those of us with young children.  They are so easily fascinated and captivated, so Christmas, with all of the lights and glitter and gold, is a perfect match for them.  Who doesn't love to see Christmas through the eyes of a child?  

    This morning my youngest son had his preschool Christmas party, it has been sixteen years since my oldest son had his.  They sang two songs in their usual adorable preschool way and we all visited over cookies and fruit and juicy juice.  During the first song, as one of the late comers, a cute little shy boy with the roundest of cheeks, came through the door, one of the girls in the singing group bellowed out, "that's the boy that I hugged!"  and she grinned from ear to ear.  The room exploded in laughter, and we nearly missed the whole second verse of Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer.  How absolutely wonderful that moment was.  

   As I looked at this little red headed doll baby, I thought, "I never tire of seeing the innocence of a child come to life."  How marvelous to love so openly, to embrace so unashamedly, to exchange so unselfishly.  It's the best of us, don't you think.  It's all of us, when we're little, before we learn to judge, or criticize, or label as "good" or "bad."  I wish all of us could be more like that again, don't you?  Then, let's do, okay?

  When was the last time you witnessed the innocence of a child come to life?  Did it make you smile as great as it did me?  I'm betting, yes.