Episode 5 focuses largely on forgiveness of others surrounding the abortion choice, and accepting God's forgiveness completely, because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for us.
I loved that the study emphasizes what forgiveness is NOT, along with what it truly means. There are so many pitfalls in this area, when we are trying to process our anger and forgive others, or accept forgiveness ourselves. Many of us have believed the myth for so long that forgiving means that we accept what has been done to us, or what we have done as "okay." Those of us who have chosen abortion know that it will never be okay that we did this. I am so glad that this distinction was made here, and that the point that forgiving does not minimize what has taken place, or dictate that we should just be completely fine with what has happened.
Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation, is another point that was touched on, and I believe it is so important for us to understand this. I remember as a child and a young adult, it was so easy for me to "forgive and forget." I would forgive and just pretend that whatever had been done to me did not matter, that everything was just fine. Now, I understand that it does not work that way. Sometimes the infractions against us are so evil and so hurtful that we feel we cannot ever forgive what has been done, let alone, forget about it. But, God states for us very clearly to forgive, because we have been forgiven. So, out of obedience to God, to follow His instruction for our lives, we must choose to forgive, and then ask God to fill those angry spaces with His love. Still, even in doing this, it is not always healthy for us to go back to relationships with those who have hurt us on such a deep, psychological level, especially if they hurt us over and over again.
I don't think I had ever heard it said that the Bible does not identify a need for us to forgive ourselves for things that we have done, only to accept God's forgiveness. I am still thinking this point through and mulling it around in my mind. Kelly pointed out in this episode, "forgiving ourselves and accepting God's forgiveness are almost two different packages." I currently believe they are two separate packages. But, as I'm processing this, does that mean I am putting myself on God's level, granting the blessing of forgiveness right along beside Him? I can never see myself on the same playing field as God, there is no way to even make this comparison, it would be compeltely ridiculous to do so.
In my mind, if we accept God's forgiveness, and do not forgive ourselves for an abortion choice, this is a sin, because we are placing ourselves as higher judges than God. This was the point that drove my decision to finally make the choice to forgive myself, as I outlined in this June 25th, 2012 post. I felt I could accept that God could forgive me, because He said He will forgive anything that we confess with a pure heart, and I knew I truly confessed my sin to Him desperately seeking His forgiveness; but I vowed within my own heart, "I will NEVER forgive myself for what I have done." I wrestled with this for months and months, as God patiently showed me that forgiving myself was an act of obedience to Him; and that even if I didn't feel in my heart that I could forgive myself, I must make the choice to do so in reverence to my Creator. Now, after watching this episode I'm thinking, "is forgiving myself more of a deeper acceptance of God's forgiveness, rather than a separate form of forgiveness?" I will pray about this point, and write more in a later post about what God reveals to me. It is definitely an interesting point to ponder, and I am grateful for the show for bringing this question into the light for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment