Sunday, January 25, 2015

Forgiving Myself

The struggle of forgiving ourselves for our abortions is the greatest and toughest common denominator I see in all of my work in post-abortion healing.  We all wrestle with the feelings and thoughts of NEVER believing we deserve to forgive ourselves, and with the questions about whether or not we REALLY are forgiven by God.  I hope these words will help to clarify the path to working through this spiritual and emotional conflict, and lead you to a sense of peace and understanding.

Accepting God's forgiveness for our abortions is a decision and a choice that we make in faith.  God invites us to do this, and we must be open to receiving His grace for our sins.
     1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." I believe this verse holds so many paramount truths for the post abortive world.  I believe God included the word "all" for us, because we feel our sin is greater than any other!  It is confusing to think of God being "just" yet forgiving us for this particular sin.  We think that justice for what we have done would be for us to die too.  We feel that is what we deserve after we have chosen abortion.  Clearly, that is not what God has in mind.  Jesus died on the cross, so that we all may have forgiveness and salvation.  For all sins, he died, and ALL sins are forgiven.  And not only does he forgive us, but he also purifies us of our unrighteousness.  Have you ever felt dirty because of your choice?  Have you ever felt you could never bathe yourself enough to ever was away the filth of what you have done?  I've been there, I too felt that way before; but it is a lie the accuser uses to keep us in bondage, to keep us believing we are unworthy of the grace God has extended to us every minute of every day we live.

Today, make the choice to accept God's forgiveness, even though you may not feel it.  Make the choice to accept your own forgiveness, even though you may not feel it or believe it.  Accept these gifts by faith, not sight or feeling.  Accept them to be true, because you know God is faithful.  Because you know he is just.  Because you know he is righteous.  Remember that when we can't accept his forgiveness, we cannot forgive others.  If we're not accepting grace, then grace cannot flow out of us to others.
1 John 3:20 tells us, "whenever our hearts condemn us.  For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."  It is no doubt that our hearts will condemn us, and that the accuser will condemn us, but God is greater than our hearts and definitely greater than our adversary.  We must reaffirm each time this lie flies up in our faces and remind ourselves that we have confessed our sins and that God has forgiven us, even that we have forgiven ourselves.

Don't wait on your heart to agree with your head.  It will not happen for a long time.  Your choosing to accept the grace God gives, and further extending that grace to yourself, is a worthy choice that assures God that you believe his promises.  He has made it clear in his word that our confessed sins are forgiven and cleansed.  Every time you hear the accusing words start again in your head, say to God in the silence of your head or as loud as you want with your voice, "I have accepted your forgiveness, Lord and I thank you for helping me forgive myself.  I believe in your faithfulness.  I believe in your grace.  Thank you, Lord for purifying me today."  Believe me when I say that over time, you will have peace of mind, when it comes to accepting God's forgiveness and forgiving yourself.  I promise you, if you practice this prayer and meditation, you will feel in your heart what your head knows is best right now.  May God bless you as you accept his forgiveness and extend that grace to yourself.  

 

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