Our Spiritual Lifelines

For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Psalm 139:13-16

     How beautiful these words are!  What a comfort they are now to me, when they used to be a source of guilt and sorrow.  I used to read them and feel such shame for my abortions, seeing what a precious being God had created, and that I had discarded.  I felt consumed with sorrow that I couldn't undo what had been done, that my short sightedness had caused me to miss the beauty and sacredness of my pregnancies.   My heart would ache when I thought about my children's fate and what had happened to them physically, and I could not bear to contemplate what that meant for them and must have been like.  I could not see past that point, before I experienced God's healing in my life, I was stuck there in that awful place--that torturous place.  Now I see, a life consumed by guilt and shame is not what God wants for me, that is not how He intends for me to go through the rest of my time here.  Staying in that self deprecating place does no one any good, and will not bring back the children I have lost, no matter how long or deeply I mourn for them.   Now, I see clearly.

     It is such a comfort now to realize that the God who created us, you and me, and all of our children, knew each of us and them before we were conceived.  Our days here are written, they are planned and He knows them before they happen, and He is still the God of our children.  He has never left them or forsaken them, nor us.  He has made provisions for our children.  He has them in His sight, even by His side, day to day.  They walk among the angels now, their lives did not end here on this earth, they live on in heaven.  We can no longer have a physical relationship with our lost children, that is a fact that nothing can change; however we can have a spiritual connection and relationship to our children, while we are here on earth and they are in heaven.  It has been said that while we carry our children in our wombs here on earth, we are their physical lifelines, then once they have gone on to heaven before us, they become our spiritual lifelines.  I believe this is true and it is a definite comfort to any of us who are separated from our children by our choices of abortion.

     I believe we can be comforted by the fact that our children are in heaven awaiting our arrival.  I believe they watch over us and pray for us as we go through our days.  I believe they can see us in a sense and know us better than we know ourselves, just as I believe we all will have complete understanding when we enter into the presence of our Creator and King.  When we accept the forgiveness that God offers and allow Him to heal those deep places of pain and sorrow, we have no more need for the guilt and shame we felt, or need to worry about the "fate" of our children.  They are safe and at peace, because our God loves life, and each that He creates is so very unique and precious to Him, there is no way He would ever leave our children alone in dark places!  Instead, He gathers them to himself and gives them all the love we didn't think we could here with our earthly limitations.  Embrace the peace of knowing our children are safe, and they are loved with an everlasting love, a pure and powerful love that can never be changed!